Do we know where we went wrong?
This week’s newsletter was written on September 17th, 2023, during the early stages of my recovery from fractured elbows. A lot of reflection took place during that time, and this piece is just one of the things that emerged from it.
Now, four months on, I find myself in a very different place. Although feelings of guilt and regret occasionally surface, I've learned to address them swiftly and move forward.
I share this to emphasise that we are continuously learning and evolving. As time passes, the process becomes easier, and we grow stronger with each challenge we face.
Embarking on a new path during a period of rebuilding is rarely straightforward. But should it be?
Consider the analogy of building a house. To construct a sturdy home, you need solid foundations, with each layer built attentively and robustly. Reflecting on why a house might crumble, we often find layers that weren't constructed properly.
Moving forward and learning from our past involves recognising our faults. What actions of ours contributed to our setbacks? How can we avoid repeating these mistakes? Who was impacted by our decisions?
I pondered these questions at 4 am while writing this newsletter, lying in bed under the weight of guilt from past decisions. In therapy, I explored these feelings and the behaviours they manifested. Acknowledging them was crucial; it meant admitting my mistakes.
Discussing these issues allowed me to sit with them and revisit past scenarios with a new mindset, different from the one I had at the time.
Now, as I contemplate rebuilding at 4 am, I think about shedding unnecessary burdens, like guilt. The key realisation for me was learning to forgive myself – not just for one incident, but for every flawed layer in my metaphorical house.
Realising and accepting our imperfections can be challenging. Yet, we aren't meant to be perfect. Life would be dull without room for growth.
Looking ahead, I aim to do better. Embracing my inadequacies is crucial for future growth.
If you're wondering how to forgive yourself for past mistakes, here are some steps:
Write a Letter to Yourself: Address your past self at the moment of decision-making. Discuss the consequences and express gratitude for the lessons learned and the opportunity to grow.
Speak to Yourself: When feelings of guilt or regret arise, confront them. Remind yourself that making mistakes is part of being human and that you don't need to punish yourself for them.
Forgiveness Mantras: Develop mantras to recite daily. These help reframe our mindset and change our feelings towards our past actions.
Forgiving oneself or others isn't instantaneous, but it's achievable. By treating ourselves with the same love and respect we seek from others, we step forward with our best foot.
I hope this newsletter inspires you to introspect and recognise your missteps, enabling you to move forward with greater understanding and compassion.
In next week's newsletter, titled 'Far from perfect' this piece will be raw and vulnerable.
I'll speak to you in next week's article!
Love,
Ejiro
Bounce Back Guide - 28.01.24
Book
In this week's Bounce Back Guide, I'm excited to recommend 'Maybe You Should Talk to Someone' by Lori Gottlieb. This book has been incredibly meaningful to me as I've navigated my path of self-reflection and growth. Much like the author, I've found solace and insight in the therapeutic process, and Gottlieb's candid storytelling has offered me valuable perspectives on resilience, relationships, and the human experience.
This newsletter also serves as my platform for sharing personal reflections as I navigate life's challenges. It's a lens through which I offer insights gleaned from my own experiences, similar to those shared by Gottlieb in her book. As I journey through my path of growth I aim to provide you with valuable perspectives and practical guidance to help you navigate your challenges and foster resilience. Through heartfelt stories and advice, I hope to create a space where we can explore, learn, and grow together.
Thank you for reading. We've all hit rock bottom or experienced a setback but we don't have to stay there. Starting over isn't easy, which is why I'll share insights, lessons, and tips every week to help you rebuild a happier, healthier you. As an entrepreneur, a mother, and a woman with big ambitions, I'm walking this path with you.
If you found value in this article, please share it with someone who might benefit. Your support through likes, shares and comments is always appreciated. I also respond to all emails so keep them coming.